What is more embarrassing than a failed attempt to make sugar crystals? Failing twice. The first time was as a thirteen year old. I kept a glass of sugar next to my bedroom window and checked it regularly. At this age, I spent a lot of time home alone, trying to find ways to entertain myself. I would take my bike to a busy street at the end of the block and lay down on the ground with my leg sticking through the middle of the bike. I would wait near the sidewalk, to see if people would stop and ask if I needed any help.
“No thanks, I’m just taking a rest.”
I was bored, lonely and weird. At the time, I was trying to make the sugar crystals because I thought that it would be a good snack that I could keep in my backpack. How can a kid beat rock candy for a snack? Like the demise of my one and only brine shrimp, I probably stuck my finger in the water too much. Aquatic pets aren’t supposed to be interactive.
I was armed with directions from the Dangerous Book for Boys and was determined to succeed. I imagined the fun that I would have with the kids as we watched the crystals grow. “Hey guys, let’s check on the crystals. Wow…look how big they’re getting.”
The way that it did happen was much more mundane. First, the book asked for a jagged rock. This was to give the sugar something to grab a hold of. Next to the front steps, I brushed aside some snow and grabbed a handful of pointed rocks. Then I went inside and started to clean them in the kitchen sink.
“Who wants to do a project?”
“I do!” both kids answered. Tate and Emery didn’t know what we were doing, but like them, I had unbridled enthusiasm. They both knew that whatever we were going to do would be awesome. I just had to say project, and they were in. Tate pushed a chair to the counter and Emery quickly followed suit. On the counter, all of the items were lined in front of them.
“Two glasses?” I point to them. “Check.”
“Dad, don’t say that. No check. Don’t say check,” Tate said.
“Okay. Let’s make sure we have everything. Two glasses?”
“Check.” Emery said.
“No, Emmy. Don’t say that.”
“Check.” She grins at Tate.
“No! I said don’t say that.”
“How about this? I’ll say what we need; you tell me if we have it. Two glasses.”
“You already said that,” Tate said.
“Right; I forgot. Do we have sugar?” and so on down the list. After establishing the fact that we had everything, the kids started to get bored as I tried to tie a piece of thread around a chopstick on one end and the other around a rock. Leigha stepped in and had them fill both glasses with water. Once I got everything tied, we added food coloring and sugar. The kids stirred up their respective glasses and we were all set. I put the glasses on the counter next to the stove and all we had to do was wait.
A week later, I came home from work and was looking at the rock dangling in the glass. Despite the fact that no sugar crystals had formed on the rock, I realized that I couldn’t, as a responsible parent, let my kids eat candy that had formed on a rock from outside.
The book said that it would take several weeks before anything started to develop, but I really started to worry after a month. The only thing that was happening, was that the water was evaporating. On the fifth week, I officially called it quits. The rocks were poking out of the water. How was I supposed to feel when I am tried to improve my manly stock, when I couldn’t successfully perform an experiment that was designed for school children? On the bright side, the kids had a lot of fun with this one. Occasionally, they would ask me to lift them up and look at their rocks. The good news for them is that we get to do it again.
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