16 More Things The Kids Say

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Me: Emery, can you stay in bed tonight?
Emery: What if I need to tell you something?
Me: Put it in your memory bank.
Emery [starting to cry]: I don't have a memory bank, just a regular memory.

Emery (trying Taco Bell for the first time): I think that I want to try this again because I like this more than candy.

Tate (watching football): That guy is a butthead to the other guy.
Leigha: Why do you say that?
Tate: Because their helmets hit each other.

Emery: Are video games Tate's job?
Me: I would say it's more like his time-consuming hobby.
Emery: Speaking of hobby, I have a teacher named Robby

Emery: I bet Dylan from our soccer team really loves his parents.
Me: Why do you think so?
Emery: Because he never wanted to play and always be with his parents.

Emery: My finger got pinched in the closet as hard as a tornado

Tate [after leaning on top of Leigha's head]: You've got a funny hat on.

Emery: We should go to bed.
Leigha: Yeah, you guys need your sleep.
Tate: Otherwise you might get a cold sore.

Emery: I'm going to make something.
Tate: Yeah! For my birthday?

Emery: I have a wedgie.
Me: Maybe your underwear is too small.
Emery: Maybe it is too dirty.

Leigha: Tate, you have more pieces to this toy.
Me: I saw the little red ball yesterday.
Tate: Where?
Emery: I think that it is up on the beer table.
Leigha: You mean the coffee table?

Tate: Emery, do you know what it means to burn?
Emery: What?
Tate: It means that you got BURNED!

Me: I don't care where you two sit, just don't touch each other.
Emery: He can touch me.
Me: Why don't you go downstairs?
Leigha: Yeah, why don't you go downstairs and touch each other.

Emery: I am four and a half and three quarters.

Tate [While sniffling]: I'm putting a drill up my nose.
Me: You're putting a drill up your nose?
Tate: You shouldn't really do that.

Emery: Daddy, do you like my hair?
Me: It's beautiful.
Emery: Mommy, do you like my hair?
Leigha: yes
Emery: If you said that you like my hair, then you have to read me a book.

Emery [to her friends]: I get to stay up late tonight. Untill 8:30.

Tate: If you ride a horse long enough, it becomes yours.

Emery [after throwing her dirty shirt and missing the hamper]: Oh! Good try, Emery.

Me [while Emery was singing loudly over and over]: Maybe you could sing that inside your head.
Emery: I can't talk inside my head.
Tate: You told us that Chloe said that she couldn't talk inside her head, but you could.
Emery: What I meant was...
Tate:Nope! You can't change it now.

Emery: Dad, you're my favorite. Except maybe for today because Tate hurt his leg today.

Me: Do you know what they make peanut butter from?
Emery: Cows? The grocery store?

Emery: When I look at pictures, I think that I'm cuter. But when I look in real life, I think Tate is cuter.

Emery: If I stay up all night long, I'll be really little because you grow in your sleep.
Tate: That doesn't mean that you'll shrink.

Emery: Some restaurants are cold because they are so pretty inside.

Emery: If you brush my teeth, I will pay you a dollar and a half.

Emery: I'm mad at Daddy. He is being interceptible.
Leigha: You mean unacceptable?

Leigha: Tate, your teacher says that you're very bright.
Tate: What does that mean?

Emery: Today I saw a firefighter with all of his outfit on and I went up and gave hime a high five and I wasn't scared at all. And his name was Josh. And he had earrings like mommy.

Tate: Ewwww, I saw a red mouse on the ground.
Me: I don't think that it was a mouse.
Tate: Maybe it was a mole. It looked a little plump.

Tate: Can I lay with you guys?
Leigha: The show that we are watching has some bad words.
Tate: I won't say the bad words at school.
Leigha: That's good.
Tate: Sometimes I say blub; that's not a bad word.

Tate: Can we have dessert?
Me: This dessert? We aren't going to eat this tonight.
Tate: [Squinting] I see you smirking.

Emery: Can we listen to the radio?
Me: There are too many people trying to talk to turn the radio on.
Emery: Mooooooom!
Me: I already said no.
Emery: I am going to ask her something not about the radio. [Pauses] Mom, can we listen to the radio?

Tate: Daddy, do you remember when you were playing the shooting game and you shot a snake?
Me: No.
Tate: It was quite a long time ago.

Emery: Can you make that for a secret for my birthday? Because I probably won't remember.

Tate: When I grow up, I'm not going to play video games that much.
Me: If you find a girl that likes games then you could play them with her.
Tate: If I married Nicholas, then we could play games all of the time.

Tate: Can I have a drink of water?
Leigha: Don't drink too much. You don't want to have an accident.
Tate: Did you know that you should drink 8 glasses of water a day?

Emery: Did you know that when you give Eskimo kisses, it is like you're saying no no no?

Tate: [shows me a video game] I want to play this game when I am a teenager.
Me: You can play it if you want.
Tate: [when the game doesn't load] Maybe a teenager needs to start it.

Emery: You are all mean, I'm nice. Oh, I know...eanie meanie miney [points to herself] nice.

Emery: Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to marry Nicholas so I can kiss him on the lips.

Me: Are you kidding me?
Tate: No. Look at my face. I am serious. It looks like I am going to wrestle, but I'm not.

Emery: When someone says "oh my gosh", that means...
Tate: Freaking out

Emery: Who can find a yellow something?
Me: There's a yellow sign.
Tate: Oh! The sun!
Emery: That's a good one.
Tate: That's me; Tate.

Me: I don't want to give you a kiss because I think I might be getting sick.
Tate: Are you losing your voice?
Me: Yeah.
Tate: That's because you talk too much.

Emery: Mommy, how much longer?
Me and Leigha both: About 10 minutes.
Emery: I think that Mommy might be right and Daddy may be wrong.

Emery [walking towards me with her shirt pulled up]: Daddy, is this the first trick you learned?
Me: That's not a trick; you are just lifting up your shirt.
Emery: But it is staying up.

Emery: Dad, drink some soup. [She holds out her hands and I pretend to drink.] You drank pee.
Me: I don't want to play with you anymore.
Emery: Why? I'm not even smiling. [Covers mouth]

Emery: I have two holes in my blanket. It was from when I didn't bite my nails and they were sharp and I poked a hole in it.

Me: Tate, you can't go into a casino until you are 21.
Tate: I'm almost 21.
Me: Yup, you only have 16 more years.

Tate: My mom says I'm handsome.

Tate: Mom, have you ever heard of a gulper eel?
Leigha: No. What's that?
Tate: It's an eel that eats everything. It just goes gulp gulp gulp (while motioning an eating motion with his hand). Do you want to tell your boss about it?

Tate: I'm not very happy that Darth Vader died. I like Anakin and he turned into Darth Vader so I'm not very happy about that.

Emery: I know how you walk. You put one food down then lift up the other. If you need to run, push the run button.

Leigha [after thud]: Tate, stop banging.
Tate [from other room]: That wasn't me, it was sissy.
Leigha: I don't care who it is, please stop banging.
Emery: Yeah, it was sissy!

Emery: I farted on my hand. Mommy, you wanna smell [as she holds her hand up to Leigha's face]?
Leigha:Uh...no!
Emery: It smells like soup.

Tate: Emery, I'm gonna beat you.
Me: It's not a race.
Tate: I know. But if it was, I would always win.

Emery: Tate, how do you remember so much?
Tate: Because I have one million rememberies. Then I took six away so I have sixty now.

Tate: Boom Chicka Boom Chicka Boom Boom Boom. You like that song? I just made it up.
Me: What's it called?
Tate: Rock and Roll.

Me, After coming home from work: What did I miss today?
Emery: The bad stuff.

Tate: King Kong was fighting for his destiny!
Me: Fighting for his destiny?
Tate: Yeah. That's what people say.
Me: What people?
Tate: The Ninja Turtles

[While Tate and Emery were fighting over who gets which Easter Basket]: I used my rememberies to remember that the red basket was mine.

Emery: I keep getting candy and stickers in my Easter Eggs.
Me: Is that a bad thing?
Emery: All that I want is candy and money.

Tate: Hey!

Me: That's what horses eat.
Tate: I wasn't saying hay. I was saying hey.
Emery: Like "Hey, what's going on".

Tate: I have some poop in my pants.
Me: You pooped your pants!?
Tate: I'm about to.
Me: Do you need to go to the bathroom?
Tate: Uh...yeah!

[Tate put his hand in a sock and used it like a puppet]: Hello
I do the same.
Tate: Hey, stop that. I don't want you to stretch it out.
Me: I was doing the same thing as you.
Tate: Well...you shouldn't copy.

Tate: [After accidentally knocking his bowl of oatmeal on the floor] oh, that's okay. You can clean that up.

Emery: Did you know that Lambie (a stuffed animal) speaks Spanish?

Me: Emery, can you stop pushing on my seat with your foot, please?
Emery: But I just need to do it for one more second. Oh wait, I don't need to it anymore

Emery: Tate, tell me what I am saying inside my head.
Tate: I heard you, but I'm not telling.

Me: Emery, can you please not eat with your fingers
Emery [nonchilantly]: Its okay 'cause I love you.

Me: Tate, can you help put stuff away?
Tate: I'm tired of hard work. I need to rest and watch a movie.

Me: Tate, you're funny.
Tate: No, you're funny; I'm cute.

Tate: Wow. This is a heavy thing of syrup. Mom you can still lift it up, though.

Emery: Dad, these socks aren't working out for me so I need to take off my shoes.

Emery: Can I tell you something, Mommy?
Leigha: Sure
Emery: When we run, our heart beats slow. When we sleep, it beats slow.

Emery: ow. I bit my tongue

Tate: That's what happens when you eat too much

Emery: Can you start calling me Rapunzel?

Leigha: Uh...sure.

Emery: Good that way it can remind me that I'm growing out my hair

Leigha: We should get you some cute earrings for Aunt Nicole's wedding.

Me: We can get one with a bride and one with a groom.

Emery: OH! I should get some flower ones because I'm the flower girl!

Tate: Emery, stop being so 'nnoying.

Me to Emery [looking sad]: What's wrong, Emery?

Emery: I don't want a leprechaun to pinch me.

[Emery and Tate were playing a game on my cell phone when it was interrupted by Leiga texting something. I answered the text and gave my phone back to Emery. When the game was disrupted a second time] Emery: Can you ask mommy to not write so much?

Tate: Why is it dark outside?

Leigha: Because it is early. Really, it's still nighttime.

Tate [looks out the window]: Oh! I see a morning star and a naptime star.

Me: Uh...those are just lights on the neighbor's house.

Tate [after pulling something out of the microwave]: Oh my, just how I wanted it.

Emery: Why did you wear pants today?

Tate: Because I wanted to be a brown boy today (he was wearing brown pants and a brown shirt)

Tate [after yawning]: I'm tired.

Leigha: Maybe you should just go to bed.

Tate: I'm not tired like I have to go to sleep. I'm tired of walking.

Emery: We can listen to music but I'll be in my room crying and banging on my door

Emery: Should I put my sticker in my hair?

Me: If you want it to pull out your hair.

Emery: I like it when Tate pulls my hair.

Me: What!? Why?

Emery: Because then he gets in trouble.

[After falling down]Emery: Whoa. That made my blood go all the way down to my woo woo and back up to my heart.

Emery: Everybody needs a mom and dad so that they can protect us.

Leigha: We will always be here for you.

Emery: Not when you die.

Tate: Why is that man a pretend Santa?

Leigha: I don't know
Tate: Did he use the stuffing from his pillow to make his moustache?

Leigha: Oh, look! Frosty the Snowman is on!

Emery: I love Frosty. We have a Frosty book at school.
Me: Did you read it?
Emery: Dad, I can't read yet.

Emery: The frog from

Leigha: Kermit!?
Emery: Yeah
Me: What happened to him?
Emery: I don't know; I didn't see

Leigha: What kind of BBQ do you guys want?

Emery: Ketchup

Emery: A policeman used to be a unicorn

Leigha: I think that you mean that they wear a uniform

Tate [irritated, to Leigha]: You just talked in my eye

Emery: Mommy, I found my orange pony. He still has his sparkles. His name is sparkle pony.

Emery: Uh, mom...I just found a pretzel in my pants.

Emery: My back is hot. I think that the only thing that will help is to stand up. (We are in the car)

Tate: My teacher says that "Beanie Weenie" is Spanish for "Bonehead"

Tate: I'm snuggly because I have so many clothes on.

Leigha: something stinks in here.

Emery: Does it smell like a fox or a skunk

Emery: We like SpongeBob because he says bad words.

Me: Oh, he does?
Tate: Yeah, he does.
Me: When did you watch SpongeBob?
Tate: We've never seen it

Me: Emery, did you finish your pears?

Emery: Yeah.
Me: Why did you throw away these pieces?
Tate: Emery! I don't want a sister that throws away good food!

Me: Tate, what do you want to wear?

Tate: Uh...clothes
He makes me so proud.

Emery: This is broken. But don't worry, Tate can fix it.

Tate: Well, I can fix it, but it won't work right

[Emery with her hand down her pants.]Me: What are you doing?
She pulls her hand out and smells her finger.
Emery: No butt-finger. I was just itching.

Tate to Emery: You look pretty today. You look like a princess.

There are times when you see unprovoked kindness that you feel like you are doing a good job as a parent.

After Emery puts her hand down her pants, she walks over to Tate. "Smell my finger". Where the heck did she learn that?

Tate: Boogers!

Me: What? (Tate points at a table where they are selling food.) Oh BURgers!
Tate: I said the first part

As I am helping Tate get ready for bed, he pulls down his underwear and does a 360 spin.

Me: What was that?
Tate: (shrugging his shoulders) It was just a move.

Me: Tate, your shoes are on the wrong feet.

Tate: I know, dad. Sometimes kids like to wear their shoes on the wrong feet.

‎(Looking at his hands) Tate: My map says to go straight.

Me: ok. Then what.
Tate: Umm...It says to go left or right or straight.

Emery: Daddy, is this the right foot? (As she is putting a shoe on)

Me: Yup
Emery: Told you so.

Tate: I told my teacher that you and mommy work at the hospital.

Me: Oh yeah? What did she say?
Tate: Oh...I love you Tate. I don't know why she said that.
Emery: I told my teacher where you work and she said that you didn't work there. She said that you work at plasma

Grandpa Tom- Happy Birthday, Emery!

Emery- It's not my birthday.
Busted, Grandpa Tom, busted.

Leigha: Why are your hands down your pants?

Emery: They're not. They are on top of my underwear.

Emery: Dad, I love you the whole world

Tate (After the Giants scored a touchdown, essentially winning the game): I was thinking that we've watched enough football. Maybe we can play games now.

True enough, Tate. True enough.

Me: Tate, I like your outfit today; you look really handsome.

Tate: It's all about mommy

Emery: I can snap my toes. I can teach you when we get home.

Emery: Daddy, when I get bigger, I am going to get a cat. But not now. Not until I get older because you are allergic to cats.

Tate (after he got a flu shot): She went too fast for me to say ouch.

The kids heard a song on the radio that has a line that says a girl has big boobs. They have latched onto it.

Emery: what if they say a boy has big boobs?
Leigha: That means that he is fat because boys don't have boobs
Emery: Daddy has little boobies. That means he is a little fat. Dad, you should exercise today.
This is another example of the difference between telling the truth and being mean.

Emery: I am trying to poop, but I can't.

Tate: Just push.

Tate: Sesame Street died

Me: Leigha, are you going to plasma tommorow?

Emery: She can't go

Leigha: Yes I can.

Emery: Your iron is broke, though.

Tate: What is the name of the finger next to your thumb.

Me: Well, it has two names; a pointer or index finger.

Tate: I know what the next one is called. Tall man.